Email of the Day

I Heart THN

2012-04-12T15:39:00Z

Hey Guys,

Just writing to let you know I am loving THN so much, I'm gonna have to print out the show line up so I can make sure I'm d/l'ing my faves to listen while I work. Really great evolution going on over there- thank you so much for all the hard work you do make the world giggle. :)

VIP Brandi is holding a ticket for me while I try to make it west for the 420 show... sure as fuck hope I can make it- watching for a cheap flight! ((( praying praying praying )))

Have a great day!

I Forgot...

2012-03-30T15:58:00Z

i forgot how funny you guys are! i have been forced to stop video-feeding because of march madness. everyone in the office is streaming video and it's eating our bandwidth, so today i'm cheating watching after hours, and you guys are right. it IS radio worth watching! if you don't have a VIP, you better get one people, you're missing everything.

Shoe Dazzle Experience

2012-03-29T20:54:00Z

Here is a pic of my new shoes and I love them! I was a bit scared buying shoes online. I have always loved heels but they usually hurt either my toes, back of my foot, or the bottoms of my feet after wearing them all day. I usually have to find a pair that cost $100 and up for them to feel comfy on my feet, but I find it hard to justify spending that much money on a pair of shoes. I felt safe buying shoes from ShoeDazzle because I knew I could return them with no charge if they didn't work out. When I buy new shoes I put them on and clean the house in them and my ShoeDazzle shoes have passed the test. I will be buying all of my shoes from ShoeDazzle now. Yaay no longer stuck in flats!

Another After Hours Experience

2012-03-06T02:23:00Z

Regarding the live after hours email posted on your site by "anonymous" I couldnt agree more!!! These so-called superfans are the most annoying, obnoxious fucks!! They want the rest of us to aknowledge them so desperately like they're better listeners because they stand out for being douchebags. How about at the next show you sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up and listen!!! Im sure you guys are annoyed by some of them. The same shit goes to the fans with stupid f'n names like ***dad, ***anthon, *** the mexican, or whatever the fuck you decide to name yourselfs. Not sure if its the ego on some of these people or the pathetic attempt at atttention!!

After Hours Experience

2012-03-01T05:12:00Z

Morning. I normally wouldn't call people out but I think I need to. So my gf and I went out to After Hours on Friday. It was her first time and I wanted her to have a good time. The show was great, but before the show started and after the show was annoying. First, listeners Steve and Bianca got up about 10 times during the show (sit the fuck down!) We had to keep moving our chairs so they could get through. Blair cut in line outside, and inside was screaming acting like he was a celeb himself. After the show my gf was chatting with Erik and Adam Herpe pulled Erik to take a picture! It was rude. My girl was so annoyed with the super fans that she doesn't want to go anymore. Sorry if I sound like an asshole but they fucked up our night. Thank you fans.

Mold

2012-02-14T02:37:00Z

They grow on you.
Love you guys!

The HF Show

2012-02-06T18:02:00Z

Frank the only thing holding the show back is every fan that wants to hear their name called out by you guys or a shot like the cancer shots tho! or a song for their birthday. Instead of worrying about heidi doing an impression of betty white doing an impression of a squirrel while singing a birthday song in cat voice, contribute a funny story or sumthn related to the days topics. I hate and cringe everytime i hear a listener wanting a shot or telling you guys to remember them from blah blah blah just contribute or don't call. Tell Karen to block those callers cuz there dead air and they take away from you guys being able to be funny cuz you gotta deal with some person that wants u to tell them hello. you guys r the best and its bullshit that some of the fans think ur fucking monkeys. Anyway besides us fans i love you guys keep working hard.

Superbowl

2012-02-03T20:00:00Z

Instead of totally excluding women at the Super Bowl party, have a soundproof section that has a glass wall for them to sit in. Serve them free drinks if they get naked. You'll get to see lots of goodies, plus their catty asses are bound to get in some fights ... it's TRIPLE the entertainment of just the game by itself.

ShoeDazzle

2012-01-27T19:42:00Z

Heidi,

Because of you, I'm addicted to "Shoedazzle". I already have way too many shoes but I just have to have their shoes. I blame you for the fight ill have with my husband about the shit load of shoes I have and the ones I'm going to get every month. I love you for promoting them but at the same time I hate you!!

HF on my 40 inch television

2012-01-10T17:06:00Z

Hey Frank, I was listening to the show on my iPhone app while taking my morning dump. Started playing around with it and discovered it would stream the video to my apple tv. Flipped on my 40 inch tv in my bedroom and bam, there you guys are. Awesome! First thing I see....Heidi's high school photos! Laughed out loud!! Love you guys.

Listening from Guam`

2012-01-06T17:56:00Z

Hey man ive been an avid fan since I was about 20 and im 27 now. Anyways, im just happy I can hear you guys way out here in Guam and wanted to send you guys some love. Later

XM Love

2012-01-05T04:12:00Z

Hi. I just wanted to pass along to you my email to XM Radio, and also to wish you guys a wonderful Christmas and New Years. I can't even express how much I love the show, and how warmly I feel toward the three of you. You've become like family to me, and the show is just so incredibly special and makes my life so much more enjoyable- I truly can't thank you enough, all I can do is be a VIP for Life :. Here's my email:

I just wanted to commend you for your great decision to air The Heidi & Frank Show. I can't even express how deeply I love Heidi and Frank and Erik. Their show is hilarious, but it's more than just funny. They've saved a listener's life when he was suicidal, they've given on-air comfort to child abuse victims, they counsel people through tough decisions, and they bring such an incredible amount of joy to those of us who are loyal listeners. Sometimes they are the only thing that makes me laugh all week often laughing until it hurts- but in a good way. It would be fantastic if you could air them every day, because they are so worthy of a wider audience. Thanks again for broadcasting this great show, and please have them on every day.

A HF Christmas

2011-12-15T04:25:00Z

Just wanted to let you guys know, I just got a loan from Loan Mart to purchase the beer glass set for myself from RedEnvelope.com, and I'm going to put the toy I got from adamandeve.com in the free red gift box to give my to girlfriend for Christmas.... oh yeah, and Sherri Berries taste good.

Disowned

2011-12-13T06:39:00Z

Hey,
One time my grandmother wasn't asked to play cards at my uncle's parent's in-laws house, so she basically disowned him for 7 years.

I've had a really shitty day.

2011-12-07T05:23:00Z

I've had a really shitty day. I'm stressed out because I'm moving and my 5 month old baby, Indiana, is no help. To make matters worse I'm dealing with post partum depression. However, your show keeps me smiling. While I was driving to work and listening to the November 23rd show the segment with crazy orgasms started. I had to pull over to the shoulder of the freeway because I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to crash. Thank god I don't sound like that! Thanks for cheering me up :

Loyal listener and VIP since day 1.

Hating Drunk Frank

2011-12-02T03:03:00Z

Listening to Friday's show 11/18/11. Drunk Frank sounded pathetic. Other then the train crash value it makes for a bad show. You need some drinking rules or your going to crash and burn. If not, your going to be doing a show alone or with no talent losers after your current on air talent leave.

Remembering the Ex

2011-11-15T21:17:00Z

I was with my ex-husband for 14 years and don't remember much of anything at all about him or the relationship. Been divorced only 5 years.

Oh Fuck You

2011-11-02T19:03:00Z

I'm listening to the podcast of Friday's show and just heard you tell Eric what I want to say to him on a daily basis; "Oh Fuck You".

Kenny's Hair

2011-10-25T02:52:00Z

What happened to Kenny's Hair. Did Farty influence him. I know he had a mop head before but now he is the scariest man in a wheel chair.

Drank Framer for president,

2011-10-18T16:45:00Z

Hey Frank, I just want you to know I've been listening to the political banter back and forth over the past few months from the political candidates and I have made my decision. I know who I'm voting for. I will be writing in Drank Framer for president, and for vice-president I'll be writing in Paul Zearm.

Toadhop

2011-10-04T02:50:00Z

Frank,

Just got home form a super long day and was able to go right to Toad Hop, clicked on watch the show, and BLAMO!!!! I was laughing my ass OFF!!! It is wonderful to have all this content in one place!

Thank You!

Good Job Guys

2011-10-04T02:28:00Z

Great job to Jeff & Little Eric last month. I thought they each did a great job. Actually, I think September was the best month the show had in a long while. Could it be because Jeff & Eric both realize their name isn't on the show so they should only chime in from time to time? I don't know...

When they did chime in, I thought they were funny. Great show, you are doing great, Frank!

Frank Is Always Right

2011-09-29T19:32:00Z

Frank,

You sly bastard...Everytime you argue, you start off wrong and asshole-y, and somehow you ALWAYS TURN it around!

Listening to you, I'm like...Dumbass...Wrong...sigh...No...holy shit, you're fucking right! (Damnit)

Love you!

She's A Winner

2011-09-27T04:49:00Z

Very Happy Birthday Heidi! You're still the hottest woman in independently run online webcam-based radio...that's over 32.

Healers

2011-09-27T03:52:00Z

Frank
Heard the show today about the "healers"

first, they don't ask for payment, because 95% of the times, when they say no payment and then they have an option for donation, people pay more than they would have if they knew of a price before hand.

second, I'm a foot doc and I've been listening to you guys since I was in undergrad! There is some truth behind "talking off warts," and I've tried it once with a little kid, the science behind it is that warts come about because of low immune response and by making the person subconciously aware of the situation, the body may react to it. It usually works for little kids and idiots The way I did it with a kid was by drawing a foot on paper, drawing the wart on it and then burning the paper. 25% placebo effect Frank, that's why prayer works, sometimes!

tell Heidi to keep her "broken" toe clean,

Love you guys

VIP for life

This Is Big

2011-09-22T00:12:00Z

It’s easy to hear how hard it is to try and get off this subject. I really do have faith that you two are going to save his life. There already are listeners coming out of the woodwork to give help. He just needs some HF hands to lift him up. Way to go!

Anal Girl

2011-09-22T00:10:00Z

I figure Anal girl studied Ninjitsu and is silent but deadly. Super Tussy must have incredible driving skills, no villain can escape her when she's on her cycle.

Like Charlie, Dig Tussy saved them from their mundane jobs.
Super Tussy was working in a tampon factory
BJah jane was working in a lollipop factory
and Anal girl was working at Taco Bell.

hmm, would their bat signal just be the outline of a sex doll?

Women's Numbers

2011-09-22T00:09:00Z

Frank you're absolutely right yesterday talking about women's numbers....

I had a female friend who could not be alone, she would always go from guy to guy.

When it came to numbers, she only counted relationships, she did not count one-night-stands, and even occasional hook ups.

Laughing And Crying

2011-08-30T20:03:00Z

Thanks Frank - everbody at work is always asking what I am laughing about, now they want to know why I am crying!!!

You are a great dad Frank! I'm so proud of you!

Earthquake!!

2011-08-23T19:50:00Z

I moved from LA to Piscataway New Jersey I know, it makes no sense, and I was present when everyone at my work lost their earthquake cherry. Now they think they've survived the great quake of 2011. The place barely wobbled. New Jersey sucks.

Sex Positions

2011-08-22T22:03:00Z

Regarding your pole on sex positions.. I am one of the 3 percent..

My favorite position.. Its anal with a twist.. She is face down on the bed with her legs closed.. I slip my arms under her arms and hold her wrists under her face.. She can either bite my hands and arms or turn her head and kiss me.. I then gently bite or kiss her neck and shoulders.. When I am done.. I empty my bladder into her.. Then we take a shower together after she emptyâ??s her bowels.. we then cuddle and watch TV until she blows me.. or we fall asleep.. this is considered a quickie for us..

Golfing

2011-08-16T18:10:00Z

So I was golfing yesterday and looking for a friend's lost ball in the brush at lost canyon golf course. I found one and asked him if he was playing a "noodle". He said yes when I replied , "noodle, noodle please." He dropped to the ground laughing asking about FHF where I told him all about Heidiandfrank.com . he had no clue you were back and badder than ever. Spreading the word one drunk at a time! Fuck yeah Brother!

Frank Army

2011-08-04T18:50:00Z

Frank,

My husband Frank his part of the Frank Army has been following you guys for years now. I myself could not understand why he listened so much. I just recently bought him the VIP about a month ago and since I have been so addicted to your show. I can not beleive that I haven't listen to you guys sooner. I want to thank you guys for making my day go by every day :

Casey Anthony

2011-07-20T05:26:00Z

I was just podcasting your Casey Anthony segment, and you guys talking about her private jet trip out of Orlando. Turns out Casey is being sold around to all the media agents by the same scumbag who made Octomum millions. I was within earshot of my buddy who works for an un-named foreign TV network offering 25k for the interview rights for Casey for just that one small foreign country. He went on to tell me she will likely get around $1 Million for TV interviews just in the US.

I wanted to punch him in the face but of course his defense makes sense,...if we didn't watch this baby-killing bitch then they wouldn't put it on TV. It's a sick joke - OJ, Octomum, Casey, and that sick bastard who gets to keep his on kiddie-porn for his defense case, another gold medal for american justice

Stranger Sex

2011-07-19T20:08:00Z

Did it once....in Key West w/ stranger that wanted me. It was awesome because he sincerely wanted it and so he went to TOWN like no other!!! Goodtimes... but then it went crazy because he was trying to move to FL from ND to be with me... uhhhh No.

White Pants

2011-07-18T19:52:00Z

i was catching up on the podcasts and i heard you guys talking about if a girl wears white pants, it was the best thing iv ever heard until i went on a family outing the next day and saw my mom was wearing white pants...thanks alot for the image frank

Let's Party

2011-06-21T19:41:00Z

Frank I Love You!!! Long time listener, cant wait till im 21 so I can party with you and Heidi. Just have to say that the show is amazing! I am excited to see what is in store for us VIP's : I cant live my days without you guys!!! My co-workers are always catching my chuckles and cackles all day long! Keep on trucking on!

Men and Women

2011-06-14T19:44:00Z

The problem with men and women now is that Woman want everything but don't want to work for it. They want everything bought for them and all the chivalry crap but don't want to do the woman stuff like cook, clean, etc. Men have the same problem, they want a women to do everything for them but don't want to hold up their end of the bargain by providing financial security and being the physical force. In all most people today are spoiled shits who don't want to work for anything.

God Damn!

2011-06-08T16:06:00Z

I have been a long time listener since I was 17 and I'm 23, and recently got my boyfriend to listen and love as well. We were watching something the other day about a swimmer, and she was talking about how much she loved the water. She said, "if I could grow gills I would be down there all day and only come up for sun"...my boyfriend instantly replied, "that's what heidi said". I died laughing and was so proud he caught on to the heidi and frank humor. You guys rock, keep making me laugh and my boyfriend funnier.

Teen Pregnancy

2011-05-30T17:36:00Z

Frank,
Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.

Large woman washes up on beach

2011-05-20T02:57:00Z

OMG Frank! Was bored at the office this afternoon so I played the Large woman washes up on beach video. I pee'd my pants a little and could not stop laughing. Everytime I thought she was up & out then down she went again! I was amazed that no adult ever tryed to help her, only the kids! Still too funny - Thanks for cheering me up!

Rotten Egg Fart

2011-05-16T23:03:00Z

Hey Frank,

Last night when my girlfriend and I were climbing into bed I busted a nasty rotten egg ass fart. I blamed it on the dog and my girlfriend was like "all gross" and stuck her head under the covers, dutch ovening herself! I farted more while she was under there and almost shit myself!

Love the show man.

Sex Lessons

2011-05-02T20:18:00Z

Alright, class, here's the difference between making love, having sex, and f-ing:

If you are with someone you LOVE, you're making love (regardless of if you're all lovey-dovey/ kissy-face or competing with the neighbors upstairs for loudness bragging rights)

If you are with someone you LIKE, you're having sex

And if you are with someone you HATE/DON'T KNOW, it's f-ing.

It's not about WHAT you're doin' it's all about WHO you're doin'.

UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs

2011-04-28T19:59:00Z

Catching up with yesterday's podcast. Best mascott ever...the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs...Nothing strikes fear into your opponents like a banana slug!!!

Girl Scouts

2011-04-21T22:01:00Z

I was 8 years old and I was a Girl Scout standing outside a supermarket selling girl scout cookies... everyone had taken a break and my Mother went in the store to use the restroom. I sat by myself in a chair outside waiting for her.

A retarded girl was walking up with her parents. She was probably in her teens or maybe older. The retarded girl spots me, the cute little girlscout, and makes a bee line for me running FULL speed. I see her coming and don't know what to expect but as a kid you know we were all kind of scared of "them"!

This girl jumps on my lap and starts licking my face like crazy! I am frozen because I'm a quiet kid and I'm totally freaking out about whats happening to me! I'm think please Mom come out of the store!!

On top of it, her parents weren't getting her off of me! They were saying "Awww she likes you"! I was mortified.

My Mom finally walked out of the store and saved me after I got my face licked for about 2 minutes straight.

Wow... it still gives me chills! Sorry if it sounds mean but I don't even want normal people licking my face randomly!!! Haha!

Thanks!!

YMCA Pool

2011-04-19T20:06:00Z

When I was a little kid I was swimming at the YMCA pool and this 300 pound retarded kid kept coming up underneath me at picking me up on his shoulders. So later on when I was swimming in the deep end I guess he thought it was his turn for a shoulder ride so out of nowhere while i was underwater i had a 300 pound retarded kid holding me under, sitting on my shoulders . I had to fight like hell to get breaths until I was able to break free. Maybe not the scariest near death experience, but what a way that would of been to go.

Shout Outs

2011-04-12T18:44:00Z

After your comment this week about the shout-outs, I checked them out. Those people are fucking retards.

Anyone with any intelligence either emails or calls. Those tards in the shout-outs only suck each others dicks and go on and on about how wonderful they are.

BTW, Claire is a hog - def not for the imagination.

Facial Hair

2011-04-04T04:44:00Z

Love the facial here.

Stoner Thoughts: Crystal Meth Saved the world from The Nazis!

2011-04-04T04:42:00Z

I would like to thank Crystal Meth for saving the world from Hitler!!

See, Germany was kicking ass until Hitler, started having Sheen Meth effect and, tried to invade Russia during the winter! This decision was made while he was slamming Meth!!! Thus he lost WWII.

Leading to the thought Crystal Meth Saved the world from The Nazis!!!!!

Lookin' Good

2011-04-04T04:40:00Z

Frank, you have never looked so good!

Are You Back??

2011-04-04T04:38:00Z

Frank r u back on the air in LA. Let me know thanks. Frank Army

Calico

2011-04-04T04:22:00Z

Listening a week late on the podcast, loving the show as always.

Gotta tell you, I too tell my friends I'm like a Calico cat... brown hair on my head, red facial hair, black chest hair, blonde arm and leg hair, red pubes. I'm Irish/Polish so I don't know where it comes from, but at least I have everybody's different tastes covered.

Keep the show up, VIP for life.

Mom's and Jerkin'

2011-04-04T03:25:00Z

I'm listening to yesterday's show where you're talking about mom's and jerkin. I figured I share a story a little along those lines. When I was a young teenager shortly after discovering masterbation I forgot to close my bedroom door while doing my thing. My mom walked in and caught me. She didn't act surprised or anything she just said in a normal voice "What are you doing in here jackin off when you should be outside cutting the grass?" At the time I was too nervous to realize how odd it was that she didn't act like it was a big deal.
Love the show, keep up the good work.

Happy Anniversary

2011-03-29T04:52:00Z

Yo FRANK! Happy Anniversary! It's been 3 years TODAY since I found ya'LL! Found you the day after i was "Let go" by my wife and have been laughing EVER SINCE! SHOTS FOR EVERYONE!

OVER THE RAINBOW!!!

2011-03-24T03:22:00Z

OKAY YESTERDAY AT MY GREAT GRANDMA FUNERAL THEY PLAYED OVER THE RAINBOW AS THEY CARRIED HER COFFIN OUT! I THOUGHT OF HEIDI THE WHOLE TIME..

Armagedon

2011-03-24T03:17:00Z

Anyone who is an active backpacker has alot of the armagedon supplies, gun for bears, sleeping bag, tent, camp stove that can run on diesel, gps, water filtration. etc.

Lesbeans will be the first to go. hand painted pottery and sepia photos serve no purpose in the the apocolypse.

Daughter

2011-03-17T05:12:00Z

Today was hat day at my eight year old daughters school She ask to wear my Scotch Lobster hat. I've been waiting for the school to call all day.

Heidi and daylight savings

2011-03-16T07:14:00Z

It's strange that Heidi likes daylight savings. You would think she would be longing for that extra hour of darkness when she has to be seen in public.

Hit By Horse

2011-03-14T03:03:00Z

I had a good friend that passed out while she was sitting on the toilet. I went to check on her and she had puked all over herself, all over the floor and was passed out with her pants down in her puke. Me being the good friend, closed the door and we ordered a pizza. She slept there all night.

Good Friend

2011-03-14T02:55:00Z

Love and Marriage

2011-03-11T04:07:00Z

Frank--

I'm with you. Marriage USED to be the way of life. Thanks to the laziness of people and the Increasing mentality of "get rich quick", divorce has ruined the sanctity of marriage. Nowadays, marriage is more of a business contract that MIGHT include love. Instead of getting married, save yourself some heartache and just burn half of your shit.

Thanksgiving

2011-03-11T04:04:00Z

My husbands Grandfather dropped dead right after Thanksgiving Dinner while we were all eating pumpkin pie. Fell and cracked his head on the kitchen counter and was dead. No lie. This really happened. It was kinda cool when I went back to work on that Monday and my co workers would ask "Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?" Yeah it was nice until Grandpa dropped dead.

Death Story

2011-03-11T04:02:00Z

Frank. A few weeks after my grandmother died, my uncle got a message on his answering machine from a woman who sounded just like my grandmother, and the message just said I'm upstairs. Needless to say he and the rest of us freaked out. mainly because she called collect from heaven and that shit really adds up.

Men Crying

2011-03-09T04:51:00Z

Frank, you are totally right! I just heard Fridays show and Heidi and Smeeze are SO retarded! Crying is for pussies. My boyfriend and I had a fight about 6 months ago where I said I was leaving him and he started crying. I haven't been attracted to him since. I know its wrong but I can't help it.

Brandy

2011-03-09T04:19:00Z

The other day you called a girl by her sisters name "Brandy", I thought it was your psychic abilities and today you're seeing spirits. I bet it's the beard, like Sampsons hair!

Rosie Lookalike

2011-03-09T04:16:00Z

I posted on franks shout out but incase u dnt get it today my bday, frank army been listening for 7 years and im turning 22 and before u ask i look like rosie o'donnell.

Taint boundary

2011-03-08T21:09:00Z

The official boundaries of the taint are where the ball sweat ends and the anal leakage begins.

Lactating

2011-03-03T17:29:00Z

Pissing carrots and shitting corn, all he needs to do is lactate mashed potatoes and he has a whole Shepard's pie.

Friends

2011-03-02T04:31:00Z

Damn frank! I just listened yesterdays show about "friends." Jesus, your all alone there stuck between to vag's! which wouldn't be to bad if they were both hot chicks. I feel bad for baby smeez cause that kid is gonna get dumped again if he doesn't grow a pair! i figured your influence would rub off on him eventualy, but it's looking grim! Smeez- "oh I trust her, I respect women, she can have a best friend who is a dude... blah blah blah. Hell Heidi has a bigger pair! I'm with you, guys and girls cant be "just friends" keep fighting the good fight my friend. B.T.W. I've been a fan since the Denver days. i was totaly shocked when i moved here in 2002 then just happened to hear you guys on 97.1. its been good days ever since.

Bag of S

2011-03-02T03:14:00Z

I tried to get something from bag of s for years now, and I finally had something and called, but I guess it was a little late. My beer slogan was, "Have the craps, drink a pabst"!
Can you only get something if you get on the air?

Thanks man!

Keep Tweeting

2011-02-28T06:47:00Z

Just to let you know I love the tweets. I listen a day behind so I read the Heidiandfrank tweets and then the next day I listen to the show. It is very funny trying to figure out how "Fugleys dont pay., they listen for free" fits into the show. Keep up the good work guys.

Frank Kramer the Rapist

2011-02-23T21:33:00Z

What actual patients are saying about Frank Kramer The Rapist...
He saved our marriage after one visit. After trying traditional marriage counseling my mom suggested going to Frank Kramer TheRapist. I was so nervous and my mom assured me this would help, my parents even go once a year to keep the marriage solid. We walked in and spoke for a few minutes he wanted to assure everything done in this room was all for keeping our marriage together. That is when the rape started he tied up my husband and raped me, right in front of my husband. My husband fought to get untied and cried out he would never leave and would do anything to change. We have never felt closer or more in love.
Thanks Frank Kramer can we get on a yearly visit plan as well?

CWTFYB

2011-02-23T19:00:00Z

Hey Frank!

I was listening to sexting. Schmoo to Shmeez. CWTFYB. I thought, "can't wait to fuck your boss".

TMZ Exclusive

2011-02-22T18:14:00Z

Did you see TMZ had footage of Eric's Bag out on the town with the bag from American Beauty? Neither one has released a statement, but rumor is they are Hollywood's newest item.

Listened to Thursday's podcast over the weekend... loved it!

VIP from the beginning.

Book Titles for Heidi's Memoirs

2011-02-16T19:17:00Z

"if these hands could talk"
"the mysteries of jean nate"
"who pooped in my closet"
"dieases & conditions....and how many i may or may not have"

Herpes

2011-02-15T05:19:00Z

If you meet on the herpes dating site, how do you tell people you met? Food for thought.

Mountain Man

2011-02-15T05:11:00Z

Using the iphone app for the first time. It is amazing. I also listen on my nook color. I'm watching studio cam on iphone 4 and WOW. I've always had a crush on u frank. Now I'm in love, u are slowly becoming a mountain man. But really amazing guys. Outstanding work!

Smeez's Bare

2011-02-10T05:04:00Z

There was NO NEED for Smeez to just proclaim "I'm bare." God damn, son, no thanks to that information.

Please let him know he disgusts the listeners.

Frank's Rhythm

2011-02-08T21:18:00Z

Frank,

You have some serious rhythm! I watched the video of you and Randy playing the dance game and you were soooo good. It was pretty entertaining to watch. You, Heidi and Erik have to do a dance off!

Twitter

2011-02-07T20:16:00Z

I joined Twitter just for you…. VIP all day everyday. Thanks for being who you are!

Citizenship

2011-02-02T20:59:00Z

My 2 cents on citizenship.... If the parents have been living in the country for a set period of time, the kid should have the citizenship... but if the mom hops the fence, drops the load, fuck 'em!

Amazing

2011-02-02T05:40:00Z

Hey Frank, Man Lesbo, And Gay Elf!! Just wanted to say that the Fucked her in love video was AMAZING a true work of genius!! You guys rock, and real quick idea for the show mabey you guys can give away Heidi and Frank T-Shirts along with all your sponsor prizes, I think it'd be a huge incentive for people to call in and well....be funny. You guys are freaking awesome! Oh btw can you PLEASE play Scotch Lobster for me! I know Smeez hates it but screw him Scotch Lobster is the BEST freaking thing you guys have ever done!! Don't ever let that die! I just got back from the Caribbean and you have no idea how many people tried to barter me random things for my hat. I love that freaking hat!

Scotch Lobster! group

2011-02-01T04:40:00Z

Watup Frank,
Today was the start of the semester and my marketing class was separated into groups to compete against each other throughout the year. It took some convincing but im now leading Team Scotch Lobster!long live the lobster

Thousand Island

2011-02-01T04:35:00Z

Anne In regards to your discussion about thousand island dressing the other day, its not in fancy restaurants because only trashy people like it. I used to be a server and %99 percent of the time anyone who ordered it would leave the shittiest tip if at all.

P.S. I'm not saying all black people don't tip, but they do love thousand dressing . . .

Running Errands and Cosmo

2011-01-27T17:36:00Z

I disagree with cosmo. Eagerly wanting to run errands doesn't mean one is cheating-- hell, maybe he just wants to get away from the nagging for 20 minutes.

Signs he's misbehaving...

2011-01-25T17:15:00Z

1. theres a strange woman on the end of his penis
2. 2 thru 4 dont matter....

Heidi's Perfect Baby

2011-01-20T23:53:00Z

Heidi should have Frank, Eric, Jeff, Kenny, and Ian all jiz in the same cup so she can have a short, obese, crippled, cross eyed, heart defective, cancerous, no sense of smell, Jewish baby who dresses gay!

Weird things after pregnancy

2011-01-19T02:42:00Z

No weird cravings or allergies, but after I had my son, my straight hair turned SUPER curly, I grew a ½ inch taller and one foot is now almost a half a sized bigger. Dam kid screwed me all up. Haha.

Heidi is funny! Then again no...

2011-01-10T18:58:00Z

Hey Frank,

It's good to hear that Heidi is really consistent when it comes to her views on life. Before she said that she encourages her parents to hook up with other people, and now she said that if her Dad had a kid with another woman that she would hate her.

Then she said that she would never be able to call another woman Mom if she was 10 years old....yet she calls Chris' Mom "Mom" and Heidi is like 45.

It's good to hear that even though LaRue is no longer there, she has picked up the slack regarding changing her point of view from week to week.

Frank's happy in the here and now

2011-01-06T04:08:00Z

You said you're happy in the present, & happy with who you're with? I listen to show, and NOW I see why you're not worried about dying.

I Was Pressured

2011-01-06T04:06:00Z

I was pressured to get married but then I just used a wire hanger and problem solved.

Sex Dream

2011-01-06T03:59:00Z

I had a great sex dream about 2 weeks ago involving Smeez and Frank. It started out that I was dating Smeez. We were hanging out and watching movies and being all Smeez like with cuddles and kisses. It was so sweet. But then when the movie was over...I was like "See you tomorrow Erik" and then I called up Frank and we had the hottest, nastiest, most animalistic sex EVER! It was so real...I had to shower when I woke up from it.! Love you guys!

Cat Seizure

2011-01-05T05:19:00Z

My friend in high school had a cat with kitty AIDS. He constantly had seizures. One time the cat (Bubba) was standing there, fell on his back, and was twitching so badly that he started spinning. If that wasn't funny enough, he also started peeing.

Kitty Poop

2011-01-05T05:15:00Z

Dear Smeez,

Over the holidays my roommate took her cat back home to her parents house. Once at her parents house she went to the bathroom to take a shit. While taking a shit the cat came into the bathroom had a seizure in front of her, fell over and died. He was in perfect health and just had a clean bill of health from the vet two weeks ago.

Happy New Year

Sex Toy Stash

2011-01-04T03:31:00Z

Frank
Last summer some friends were helping my wife and I move and we had put my wife's dresser in the back of a friends truck. On the way to our new place our friend took a turn to sharp and dumped a couple of her drawers into the intersection. These drawers just so happened to be where my wife stashed her sex toys. My friend jumped out of his truck in the middle of the intersection to gather everything up. We couldn't stop laughing when he got to the house.

Lunch

2010-12-31T00:58:00Z

I should know better than to eat my lunch and listen to the afterhours podcast. Thanks for the upchuck I just tasted due to the phrase "queen elizabeth's period panties."

Creepin' Me Out

2010-12-25T05:33:00Z

I am little creeped out by the fact that Frank KEEPS talking about his daughter's breast. He sounds like Joe Simpson, acting like he is worried when secretly he is really proud. It is starting to be Frosty-creepy. Please tell him to stop.

How come every time Heidi tells a story that does not involve a white person, she feels the need to mention their race... multiple times... even if their race has NOTHING to do with the story. Ex. Chalk eater= pretty girl. Toilet paper eater- Big, BLACK girl. Why does it matter that the toilet paper eater is black? For that matter, should I assume the chalk eater is white?

Yet, I pay $5 a month to listen to this craziness... because I love the show soo much! lol.

Sexy Christmas

2010-12-25T05:29:00Z

-When I think about you,
I touch my ELF

-What a BIG candy cane you have!

Baby Doll

2010-12-25T05:22:00Z

If Heidi wants to be fair to her kids she needs to buy Shrek dolls ;)))

Great show guys!!!

Dorothy and this show

2010-12-21T04:19:00Z

Frank--

Dorothy is an 80-year old lady that came with the show after KABC? Look at that- you gain one old lady after losing one after 10 years.

Fuck you very much

2010-12-21T04:16:00Z

Yes I am a fat dog show person named Tammy. So stereo typical. I have never called you guys because I am at work all the time. I write you for a hurdy durdy shot and I got shit.
So much for being VIP. Fuck me. I hate my birthday anyways and have always got screwed. Thanks for screwing it some more
love you.

Heidi was on Survivor?

2010-12-21T04:09:00Z

Why didn't you tell everyone Heidi was on Survivor this season? We would have been watching!

Love you guys!

UCONN women...i went there

2010-12-21T04:03:00Z

Hey Frank,

I went to UCONN...they used to hold open practices (where the students could come in and watch) and occasionally would run scrimages against the mens bench players (u know the walk-ons and the white dudes) and the men would KILL the women.

They didn't keep score but when u watched it the women almost never scored and the men would steal the ball almost every other trip down the floor! LOL

A note from Management

2010-12-20T18:32:00Z

Memo

To: Heidi Hamilton / Frank Kramer / Erik Scott Smith

From: Heidi and Frank Management
CC: Franks balls

Date: 12/20/2010

Re: Dance Party

During the Heidi and Frank dance party, Frank will provide his own disco balls for entertainment. They're hanging there doing nothing, so let's include them. Managment does not condone the silent treatment of Franks, or any other Heidi and Frank members balls, ovaries, or third nipples.

Thank you.

Signed,

Heidi and Frank Management

Sexy Moment Gone Wrong

2010-12-16T06:19:00Z

Had a one night stand with a thin girl. Ripped her panties off with one hand. Really hot. The next girl I was with as Frank would say... "Is she a great, big fat person?" yes she was! I try ripping off her panties and the elastic was so strong it wouldn't break. I was so determined to rip them off I literally lifted her off the bed by the waist band of these super panties... Never broke! Needless to say I'll never try that move on a fat girl ever again.

Matchmaker

2010-12-16T04:32:00Z

The best matchmaker is the one who doesn't matchmake. Mind your fucking own crappy relationship.

Cuddles McFag

2010-12-16T04:28:00Z

God damn Cuddles really doesn't get the point, I see it as helping the strippers everyone needs money mite as well see some tits for it. Nothing beats a good ass lap dance

The party kicked ass!

2010-12-14T03:23:00Z

The party kicked ass! Thanks for signing my wifes boob and licking her face. She said you looked the hottest you ever have that night. We'll keep pimping the show out wherever we can. Good times were had by all at the event. Frank army out!

iTunes Best of 2010!!!

2010-12-14T03:21:00Z

Hey guys,

I’m pretty sure you saw this, but I thought I’d send a quick note. The After Hours podcast made iTunes Best of 2010!!! Congrats, guys! You rock. You guys have been my favorite show for about 6 years. Glad to see you getting some recognition!

VIP since day one (or five…I forget),

YOU ROCK!!

2010-12-14T03:19:00Z

Awesome party last night! Thanks for throwing it You and all your friends are genuinely real, down to earth, fun people. YOU ROCK!!

Boob Sig

2010-12-14T03:17:00Z

My date weasled her way in to each one of you so i could get signatures and pictures.
She held up a promo sheet and frank looks back at me with big eyes and a shit eating grin
and goes right down in her shirt to sign her boobs! hahaha   it was very funny and awsome
heidi then saw franks sig and signed the other one.   i had so much fun. love you guys
VIP SUPERFAN

Sexy Santa

2010-12-14T03:14:00Z

Yeah I got in a pic with the male sexy santa. I remember touching his back and thinking yucky. So many bumps, lol.

Lingerie

2010-12-14T03:12:00Z

Mr Ed's House of Hosiery

Football Sunday

2010-12-11T05:26:00Z

Frank. Here's my story - almost ruined my nice little football sunday.I wear my scotch lobster hat to show my pride and support for you guys. Sunday morning, i woke up and realized that i didn't have anymore sweet nectar of life kodiak. so before football started, i decided to take a nice little walk down to my local 7-11 store where Akmud was working. He knows me by face and understands i either need said sweet nectar or zig-zags.

The walk is about 20 min from my place, but it was a nice sunday so i figured a little excercise doesn't hurt anyone. Accompanying my walk, was my friend juniper the joint yes, i name my j's. I finished my morning fun, approached 7-11, and noticed a cop car in the lot. not thinking clearly, and focused on the new purchase of a shiny tin i entered the store. The cop immediately looks at me after that stupid sound on the mat goes off, looks directly at me and says "Nice hat." Now, at this junction of time, there are several things i could've done; namely, smiled and continued on making my purchase. But, because i was high, and focused on a fresh lipper, i looked at him, put my fist in the air and said "frank army."

This was my mistake. He looked at me with a glare probably looking at my blood shot eyes and said "are you kidding me?", shook his head and walked out. Good thing, because jolly the joint was in my pocket for the walk home.
Word to your mother.

How I Met My Ma

2010-12-11T05:05:00Z

I think meeting in bars is the best .. cuz if you don't like them at that moment, you can always go home with someone else ... I met my boyfriend in a bar ... while he was in line for the bathroom ... I asked him if my lipstick was messed up, he said yea a little, I asked him if he wanted to fix it, then I kissed him. We've been together for over 2 years now and he turned me on to you guys .. now I'm a die hard fan .. love you guys!!! See ya tomorrow!

Dance Party

2010-12-10T20:27:00Z

Dance Party was the best thing ever but next time can it not be a Sausage party and Karen.

Scotch Knobster

2010-12-10T01:22:00Z

I just got done listening to Friday's After Hours I know...we podcasters are way behind... but I wanted to comment on the scotch condom and the song that accompanied it. I think "Scotch Knobster" has a much better ring to it. Pass it on, maybe even after you put one on.

Givers and receivers

2010-12-09T23:53:00Z

Frank and Smeez are right. Men are naturally givers, so the guy who wants to receive goes against nature and is ultimately gayer than the guy who gives.

Answering the phone and sex.

2010-12-09T18:43:00Z

Years ago I over heard my Grandmother telling her friend that her husband caught her reading a book while they were having sex I do not know what the book was.I guess that is why ol' Grandpa never wanted to go to the library with me. All these years I thought he was having world war 2 flash backs. It tuned out to be "Catcher in the Thigh"

Motorcyclecenter.com

2010-12-07T18:36:00Z

This is the commercial I've been waiting to hear...motorcyclecenter.com I'm definitely buying from here. Damn, they're selling my helmet for the same price i got it from my guy...the wholesale cost. nice.

Contact High

2010-12-07T06:02:00Z

Hey guys,

Love the show blah blah blah,

Was just listening to yesterdays podcast with Ralphie, and i think i got a contact high from listening to your show. (great selling point i might say).

I'm a retired member of the Frank Army for a couple years now, so its not that i am still baked, but, I'm at work and gigling at random shit.

LOVE IT!

Keep up the awesome work.

Smart Ass

2010-12-04T07:36:00Z

Okay smart ass'es, Heidi, stop..as a Doctor in Pathology you need a sample from both potential parents, you need at pathogens of both parents to determine the Father..

Lush

2010-12-04T07:31:00Z

Lush!

Great show y'all

Heidi and science

2010-12-04T07:25:00Z

Just because Heidi looks like Bill Nye doesn't mean she knows anything about science.

Heidi's Plastic Surgeon

2010-12-04T07:16:00Z

Heidi's plastic surgeon DID see her as a project. He started with the easy task of breast implants, & when he realized what he'd have to do for her face, it killed him.

Silent Laugh

2010-12-04T07:05:00Z

I just want to say that I'm a huge fan!! And today's was freakin hilarious!!! I'm just silently trying laugh, but it wont be long before I get in trouble for laughing....because after a while my silent laughing begins to turn into chuckles....Love you guy!

True Fan,
Angelica aka: Angie from Terra Bella, Ca

Adam

2010-12-04T01:14:00Z

This is why Heidi and Frank are BETTER than Adam Carolla. Hi Frank, for years I have been a loyal fan to your show and also to Adam Carolla. But lately, Adam's podcast has so many f---ing commercials that it drives me nuts. I would much rather pay my $4.95 a month to listen to you guys and not have to hear a bunch of little interrupting commercials that Adam constantly does for all of his sponsors throughout his podcast. Love you guys. Frank Army- WOOOOO!

Road head

2010-12-02T05:00:00Z

Giving my man a roadie on the way to the beach we have a tundra so I thought we should be safe . Were stopped at a stop light and my boyfriend starts laughing , I look up and two guys in the biggest truck I've ever seen are recording me ... So I'm probably on some lovely website now sorry dad! Last time I ever gave that fucker a roadie
Amanda

Im baaaccckk!

2010-12-02T04:42:00Z

Love you guys....I fell off for a little, but now I am back. I will say I signed up and paid for 2 months before even listening to the fukin show!!!...now thats love. ..... Im baaaccckk!

Bad Ass

2010-12-01T18:25:00Z

After confirming the show was still bad ass without Frosty..I've converted to the annual plan.

Alaskan STD

2010-12-01T02:32:00Z

Alaskan gonorrhea, also known as Igloo Goo. As in "She gave me an eskimo kiss and now she has igloo goo".

If I Don't Fart I Faked It??????????

2010-12-01T02:25:00Z

Oh c’mon Frank. Holy shit!!!!!!!! I am still laughing and the people in the offices around me can’t figure out what’s going on.

HOLY SHIT!!!!!! Absolutely a new tee-shirt. Hi-fuckin’-larious!!!

Meeting my internet girlfriend for the first time,

2010-11-30T03:41:00Z

I'm on vacation in Thailand meeting my internet girlfriend for the first time, and I'm walking around wearing my Scotch Lobster hat listening to the podcast on my mp3 player when I'm not interacting with my GF... and I'm only up to Tuesday's show. So, do I win "farthest listener"? Or do I have to call in to the show live for that? Love you guys, and Heidi is the biggest mental case. Period.

Drinking at burbank airport

2010-11-29T06:26:00Z

Hey frank,
The mobile site kicks ass. I'm sitting at a bar at the airport laughing my ass off listening to you!
Have a great holiday!

Marriage is Like Being Under water

2010-11-23T03:24:00Z

I've been married for 20 years and it only feels like 10 minutes..... under water

Smeez's angry side

2010-11-23T03:20:00Z

When Smeez's angry side comes out, does the Mighty Mouse song play in the background?

Cancer

2010-11-23T03:07:00Z

"Whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger?"
Tell that to Cancer!

Goodnight Sweet Girl

2010-11-22T18:25:00Z

I just wanted to say I think that the Goodnight Sweet Girl song you sang on Fridays show was so nice!!!! I am a former professional Opera Singer and I totally dig your music. Its very thoughtfully composed and your voice is a joy! Keep up the good fight and I hope to see you on the Grammy's one day.

Youngest Sexual Explosion Fan

2010-11-22T17:56:00Z

On Saturday, my 3 year old son Wesley was really upset because it was all rainy and he couldn't go outside to play and NOTHING I could do would get him to stop crying. Eventually I decided to just drown out the noise and listen to the new remix of F-ed her in Love 'cause I didn't get a chance to hear it during After Hours. Let me tell you, the minute it started playing, my son went crazy! He started laughing and jumping up and down, spinning around -losing his freaking mind! And when the song was over, he kept saying "again" until I started playing it.

Now I just have to pray he doesn't start singing the song at daycare. I'm already having a hard time getting him to say "hi guys" without the baby tranny voice.

Love you guys!

FUCKIN WOW MAN

2010-11-20T07:41:00Z

Smeez.....What else can I say but WOW...FUCKIN WOW MAN!! When you first became a regular addition to the show I was extreamlly skeptical since I have been a die hard fan of not only H&F, but FHF since the Star days. But I always gave you credit when it came to your musical talents. And now...my hat is totally off to you bro! You are the man, Fucked her in Love is an awsome track, and that you pulled that off in a weeks time, why the fuck arnt you working for a music studio man!? I DJ Small clubs, bars and private parties in the IE, and let me tell you man, when I mixed in your song I havent seen a crowd jump off that way to a song in a long time! I had to re-play it at the end of the night and I over heard people singing it on thier way out. So props to you man, and you now have my loyalty the same as H&F. FYI I picked up the track on itunes a total of i think 25 times, and gave it as a gift to my friends and other DJ's I know.

Suspicious

2010-11-20T07:39:00Z

Hey guys,

OK, my sister has a dress the same color as Smeez' hat :/ ...suspicious!!!!

P.S. I dreamt last night that I was at your Christmas Party and it sucked ass, can't wait to party with you guys.

TSA agents

2010-11-20T07:24:00Z

Hey guys,

I used to work in an office where TSA also had an office, and we'd run in to these guys in the elevator from time to time. What a bunch of dipshit morons. I wouldn't trust these idiots to bag my groceries, much less pat me down and screen out terrorists!

Tampon name

2010-11-20T07:21:00Z

My mom always called them Beenos....

When I was older, I asked why?

She said, "Oh, be no sex tonight...."

Massive Fart

2010-11-20T07:18:00Z

This is funny, My friend was traveling to NY for business, like you said about your friend, he dresses with a business suite but on this day he was casual, and when he got that putdown, the TSA guy put his hands down his crotch and my friend let a massive fart as he placed his hand down .. needless to say the TSA guy stopped the search immediately,

Go

2010-11-20T07:15:00Z

1984 called, they want their butt-rock back. Go back home to mom's basement before your mullet-sporting cousin does all your blow.

Second song

2010-11-20T07:10:00Z

The second song was an awesome song to play while having sex with a fat chick. You know, when you just don't give a fuck anymore.

Enraged at Phelp's famiy

2010-11-19T18:21:00Z

Hi Heidi,

As I am listening to yesterday's podcast November 18th I am enraged by the Phelps family and all that they stand for. I am a 25 year old lesbian, who has a Bachelors degree in Youth Ministry for the nations largest evangelical christian university.

Yes, you're thinking, what an oxymoron. A gay christian. I love who I am and I worship an amazing God who created me and loves me as I am. Jesus' most important lessons He taught surrounded the issue of LOVE. Love others, love all others as though they were your family.

Thank you for being in a position where you can talk to people like Shirley and shove their hypocrisy back in her face. She is a disgrace to Christians everywhere. When you protest outside of Fred Phelps funeral, my girlfriend and I will be right there with you.

Much love and gratitude

Weird attractions

2010-11-16T21:13:00Z

Hey guys! When I was in my mid twenties I had braces on my teeth and got hit on all the time by guys. I thought I looked hideous, but some people like it I guess. I don't know if it was a creepy little girl fetish or what.

Dance move for Heidi

2010-11-16T19:29:00Z

I got a great move for Heidi to do on the dance floor. Ok Heidi, this is what you do. Face the center of the dance floor. Then, spin around 180. Finally, walk quickly toward the ex

Funnier than ever

2010-11-16T05:41:00Z

Hi Frank,

You guys have never been funnier. I love your new show!

Like being a kid again

2010-11-16T04:26:00Z

OMG being a VIP is like, every day, being invited to a party with the coolest kids in town!
Thanks HFS for throwing this party and making this work-at-home mom feel cool again!

"I F***ed her In Love"......still singing, till my kid walks in

Smeez... pedophile or serial killer?

2010-11-16T04:06:00Z

Hey frank I just wanted to congratulate you on moving from a pedophile to a serial killer as a third member of the show, no porn make smeez an angry boy!

PLEASE READ not necessarily on the show

2010-11-16T03:12:00Z

I was in the waiting area of a nice restaurant with my husband, 2 kids, and some friends Friday night, there were about 15 other people there also waiting......and because I bought "F****d her in love" and listenened to it like 20 times......all of a sudden I broke out with the chourus OUT LOUD in front of EVERYBODY!!! I was so embarrassed, I had to walk outside for awhile...my kids about died. Needless to say, it made for intyeresting dinner conversation, and our friends now know who Heidi and Frank, and of course Smeez are!!

Joe's gold and silver experience

2010-11-16T03:07:00Z

Hi guys,

I want to share my experience of the location of Hawaiian Gardens of joe's gold and silver my first time I went was when you guys where in KABC I took in little old gold and silver chains that I never wear and scrap rings and I received $600 I was so amazed!! And this Sunday we went back I found a ring at a women's restroom and my boyfriend found scrap gold in his house. While we were there Fred the associate recognized us from last visit and he shared that gold went down but even with that we walked out of the with $620 with so little gold I was so shocked of that! Fred was beyond friendly and explaining all the steps to figuring out the value of our gold. And thanks because I got 10% more for listening to you guys!!

Torture/crafts

2010-11-15T20:15:00Z

WTF Erik has a history of arson, porn, torturing animals and an explosive anger? Sounds like a winner!

When im bored at work...

2010-11-15T20:13:00Z

When im bored at work, i listen to this pile! Thanks for captivating our audience today!

Dude sexual harassment

2010-11-15T18:39:00Z

The owner of our company sometimes when he comes in will smack our asses like hey how's it going smack or will sneak up from behind and rub our shoulders. And we're dudes

Can Heidi always read stories like that!

2010-11-11T19:49:00Z

Hey Frank for now on can Heidi always hide her mug with the paper of her story I actually enjoyed watching her cam that way!

Thanks Your Cute Boss

I realized I was getting old...

2010-11-10T20:13:00Z

I saw a cool apron at the fabric store and signed up for a sewing class so I could make a cool one of my own.

**Sigh**

Make Heidi Stop Talking

2010-11-10T20:11:00Z

Please make Heidi stop talking... my god.

2010 Podcast Awards

2010-11-09T20:46:00Z

Hey guys.. Have you thought about asking us the fans to Nominate After Hours for the Podcast Awards under any category or many from Comedy to Production.

http://podcastawards.com/

Take it easy!

smeez is killing me

2010-11-09T20:34:00Z

Frank, Erik reminds me of myself when I was younger. Thinking that girls actually make good friends….FALSE. they don’t because they are all crazy. There are a few reason why guys are “friends” with girls, we’re trying to bang them (not in Smeez’s case) we’re trying to bang a friend of theirs, we work with them, or they are dating one of our buddies.

Maybe he should crank up that time machine of his and go back and hook up with these girls.

Maybe smeez isn't gay

2010-11-09T20:33:00Z

I'm gay, and I'd totally bang anyone who was vulnerable. You take it where you can cuz that's what dudes do... Smeez isn't gay, he's now just a woman.

Proof there's no love at first sight

2010-11-09T09:54:00Z

If you meet someone and experience love at first sight, and they get killed by a bus the very next second, are you gonna cry like you lost a loved one? I don't think so Heidi...dumbass.

Oh Schmeeze

2010-11-09T09:00:00Z

So, I've always had a HUGE crush on Frank and I never even gave Schmeezie a second glance since he's so short and such a homo. But on Friday's podcast where Schmeeze talked about his anger management problems, I was suddenly SO hot for him! OMG before that I thought he was too sweet and kind and just a good ole boy, but hearing him threaten to throw a puppy out a 3rd floor window....lets just say if I had been wearing panties they would have been soaked :)

Thank You!

2010-11-08T22:16:00Z

Just wanted to say that your show has helped get through 6 years of being the caregiver to my grandma, 2 months of helping her cope through hospice care, and now her death. You have given me many laughs when the world seems dark.

Suggest a Story for the Show

2010-11-08T20:09:00Z

Instead of Dirty Jobs, DIRTY KNOBS!

Driving and reflections

2010-11-05T23:16:00Z

Hey guys listening to yesterdays show about looking at yourself while driving. Well I got a red light ticket and in the picture I had my head back, mouth open laughing my ass off. I look like a dumb shit and I was listening to you guys.

Thanks for the 10+ years of laughs and a $350 ticket.

Have I hit rock bottom?

2010-11-05T21:09:00Z

Wow - has it come to this? Just a quick background on me - I'm a 40-year-old operations manager for a very large healthcare organization, with quite a bit of responsibility. I'm doing quite well for myself professionally and can't complain at all from that realm. My job has afforded me the opportunity to work from home quite regularly and I take advantage of it.

I have been a fan of the show for at least 6-7 years now (prior to Heidi coming out, Frank having a kid, and Frost having a life....I mean dog). Most of the time, I was podcasting previous shows and enjoying that way. However, now that I work from home, I've been able to watch live and enjoy the show in a whole new light. Yes, I am a VIP (and awaiting my hat...damnit!!). That said, today was the first time I was able to take advantage of a live, Should I Stay or Should I Go.

To commemorate, I actually had 3 shots as Frank did...couldn't keep up with the 4th....sorry!

Then it hit me...I'm getting tanked on what should normally be a work day for me! Have I hit rock bottom?!?!?!?

I don't think so, but I can already feel the wheels spinning...I actually entertain the idea of giving this career up in favor of being your unpaid phone screener!!!

Thoughts?

Hunting Field

2010-11-05T20:02:00Z

Hunting Field is my Nickname for a chicks muff.

BS on the guys talking like chicks

2010-11-04T19:49:00Z

I have to call BS on a guy liking a chick and starting to talk like her. Most men sound like Heidi and I don't think they're all into her.

Heidi

2010-11-04T18:50:00Z

Heidi shouldn't get pregnant. If she wants to get married that's fine, but a child needs a dad and a mom. A real dad not a lady dad.

Little Eric/Prop 19/S.O.B.

2010-11-04T16:05:00Z

Before I begin, let me say that Little Eric can now go sit next to Krista's bitch-ass. Sure, they'll use the General to further their careers, but they betray the Frank Army at every turn (Krista had her own podcast where she said "I think anyone who smokes weed is an f-ing loser"- Direct Quote!).

Little Eric - You may not want to live in a world where drugs are legalized, but I do not want to live in a world where a Totalitarian Government is not only approved, but encouraged by ill-informed children (I mean you, dick). I, for one, feel comfortable with the ability to make my own decisions. You might enjoy not thinking for yourself, but I'm not that weak minded. What do you feel was accomplished by voting against it? Did you pass a new law? Nope. Were there any advancements in the "war on drugs"? Not at all. Did the number of current users change by a single digit? Absolutely not. Congratulations, you've accomplished nothing. Well, other than ensuring that California never see's it's cut of a $14Billion+/yr boost in our Economy. Thanks to your personal opinion on the subject, you have made certain that the State of California does not see Billions of dollars in new jobs within the next 2 years. You've set in stone that there will not be a $100,000,000+/yr contribution to our public school systems. You've also guaranteed that Non-Violent drug offenders will be contained, on the state's dime. I have a kiddy-diddler living around the corner from me, sentenced to 7yrs, out in 3 due to overcrowding. Any idea what could have prevented that? Decriminalizing a victimless crime. How now, young voter, do you propose we put an end to marijuana being smuggled in from other countries? Got a suggestion for freeing our Police Officers to arrest those that have actually victimized others?

Since you clearly think you know what is best for our society, tell me: what is YOUR idea for getting this state back on it's feet? Rather than vote against what you feel is "not for me" (without an ounce of research), why not try offering a suggestion that might bring $14Billion+/PER YEAR into the State? Please, stop voting. As someone clearly able to accept a position for no pay, you have no idea what it is to be a responsible adult. You are being supported by tax paying citizens, while not actually being a tax paying citizen. The system of "voting" was not intended for you. It is meant for those of us that actually contribute something to this country. Just sit back, keep your mouth shut, and wait for Daddy to get your next job lined up for you. Maybe that one won't pay anything, either.

Oh- by the way, they just found 30Tons of Marijuana in a tunnel from Mexico to the US - Thanks again, for voting No on Prop 19. You're really doing your part to make our country a safer place.

Little Erik

2010-11-03T17:39:00Z

Let me get this straight...you help lil Erik live his dream & he repays you by squashing one of yours? What a dick!!
Can we call him lil Stilwell from now on?

Buff Heidi

2010-11-02T19:08:00Z

Heidi is looking really buff. Those arms. But watch out the steroids are
flattening your chest and growing your penis.

I wouldn't pay $1 for your show

2010-11-01T18:36:00Z

Since no one wants to listen to you for free on the radio, why would someone want to pay for your show? But, I guess you guys are too intelligent to ask this question before launching your new " business model." Seriously, you guys are the worst thing I have ever heard on the free radio.

Smeez costume and Frank's blind eye

2010-10-29T22:20:00Z

Here's something I just thought of. Everyone on the show has some sort of disability. Frank is blind in one eye, Smeez has no sense of smell, and Heidi has down syndrome.

Pumpkin Chin Face?

2010-10-29T22:19:00Z

Hi Guys!

Happy Halloween (almost)!

I walked by one of our jack-o-lanterns this morning and I think it was giving me chin face...

It was like the pumpkin was telling me a long story about nothing and thought it had a emotionally charged point at the end...

Tube-free toilet paper

2010-10-29T22:12:00Z

How will the fags get the gerbil in their assholes with out the toilet paper roll?

Smeez's prize

2010-10-29T22:11:00Z

Seeing as you guys are short on cash. I can provide a prize for Smeez. His prize is that he can replace Stillwell and I will provide him with hilarious insults throughout the show.

Happy Halloween You Guys

2010-10-29T21:40:00Z

I REALLY want to call but I'm at work. Out of all six costumes Brett Favre was my favorite. Can't believe the resemblance.
I also have always loved Quantum Smeeze.
Happy Halloween You guys, My favorite people

Imperial Scars I mean Stars.

2010-10-29T21:39:00Z

I want them to stop making music please. A band that has to rely on stunts to try and promote their mediocre cookie cutter music is dead on arrival to me.

How about they write credible music and get recognized for their musical accomplishments instead of idiotic 'stunts' to get recognized.

Maybe if they wrote decent music the stunts would be tolerable.

It's bands like this that are back peddling the evolution of art for the sake of money...

but i'm not bitter.

love,
Hatorade

I just want to say I love you guys!!!

2010-10-29T15:47:00Z

VIP all the way! And I totally have the HOTTS for Frank. Heidi is awesome, but Smeez is a little to girly for me. I like my men to act like men and not cry like little babies. WWWAAAAHHH! I'm Smeezie. Good thing you are funny, otherwise you'd be another Frost. Keep up all the good work the show kicks ass!!!

Thank you Frank!!!! VIP Bitches!!

2010-10-28T19:20:00Z

They VIPS that think they need more need to realize they are paying for laughter!!!! That shit is like gold!!!! So they should be thankful they are buying a months worth of GOLD For 4.95!!! Become a real fan you TUSSIES and sign up for life!!

Halloween

2010-10-28T19:19:00Z

I'm giving guest VIP's to children on Halloween.

Celebrity names

2010-10-28T19:16:00Z

What about Charles Manson?

Celebrity Same Names

2010-10-28T19:15:00Z

I knew a guy who worked at the YMCA named James Bond.

Scotch Lobster!

2010-10-27T21:09:00Z

Hi Heidi and Frank,

Hey just wanted to let you know that last week my wife and I did "Rock Lobster" in Kareoke and made it "Scotch Lobster"! I am not sure if anyone here in Chicago knows your show or got the reference but who gives a shit! We are representing HF in Chicago and will be spreading the word!

Your VIP friends

Risking My Job For You Guys!

2010-10-27T21:07:00Z

Hi Guys!

In order to stream you guys live, I coerced the master password for my computer from our Tech Support Guy in order to download the flash player needed to watch you guys' webcast behind my boss's back. When my co-worker noticed I could watch videos on my computer now I lied and said it was because of the latest Windows Update.

If my boss finds out, I am so beyond screwed, so you guys better be funny as hell so it's worth risking my job!

Or just keep playing Scotch Lobster and we'll call it even.
Love you guys!

Fan from the UK

2010-10-27T19:46:00Z

I heard your show on 97.1 around 5 years ago when I went to LA with work... I was blown away, we don't have anything close to you guys in the UK and I've been downloading the podcasts ever since. I'm with you 100%, shame about Frosty, loved that guy but as long as you're talking I'll be listening. I would pay twice for your subscription and still think it's a bargain... keep it coming.

What I Find Attractive

2010-10-27T19:33:00Z

I like the dimples on a girls back when you have them bent over ;)

Ghost Story

2010-10-26T19:21:00Z

Hey Frank,

When I was younger I would see a tall thin man standing in my doorway when I was in bed. He would then turn around and walk to my brother’s bedroom and stand there, watching him. After wards he would run down the hallway and disappear. I never said anything about it until about 10 years ago, I mentioned it to my brother and he told me he would see the man too. First standing in my doorway, then coming to his room.

Ghost Exposed Itself to Me

2010-10-26T19:19:00Z

I was in bed asleep one night, and I woke up and there was a creepy looking man sitting next to me on the bed smiling. It scared me so i closed me eyes. When I opened them again, there was a penis in front of my face! I closed my eyes again and heard this faint crazy laugh. I opened my eyes again and there was nothing there...

Ghost Story

2010-10-26T19:14:00Z

Was on vacation high up in the mountains of Puerto Vallarta, in the middle of no where, where my family is from. I was volunteered to sleep at my grandparents house with my uncle who lives there. He was asleep in the kitchen and I was in one of the rooms alone, in the middle of the night i hear someone snoring. I assumed it was my uncle but then i realized the snoring was coming from the other bed in the room. Scared shitless and ready to piss my pants, I forced myself back to sleep. Found out later that the room was where my grandfather slept and that he had passed away in that room, on that bed...

Ghosts Don't Exist

2010-10-26T19:09:00Z

Frank,
You know how I know ghosts don't exist? You never hear stories of people seeing hot sexy ghosts. There's gotta be some hot foxy lady in history that killed herself or died all crazy.

I wanna be haunted by a sexy MILF ghost. Thanks Frank.

After hours 10/22

2010-10-25T19:25:00Z

Heidi should be thankful the man's penis works on mechanics and not on how a person looks.. It's the only reason she isn't still a virgin.

Eating pumpkin

2010-10-25T19:24:00Z

You use the shell of the pumpkin. You have to boil it until soft and then mash it. Just like mashed potatoes, except orange and shitty tasting.

Heidi in Playboy

2010-10-25T19:08:00Z

I am all for Heidi being in playboy but how would we know it was really her? You know, with the paper bag that they would make her wear and all.

Farting while giving a bj

2010-10-22T21:14:00Z

Frank,

That shit isn't funny when it happens to you. I was going down on my girl last Sunday and when she was about to cum she farted in my face. I started laughing at first but stopped once all the stank from her fart filled my lungs. Meanwhile, I hear her crying and apologizing for doing something so terrible.

I now have her listed as 'Farty' on my iphone.

Lohan getting hotter with age

2010-10-22T20:40:00Z

Frank is right. Lohan aging like a fine wine. A few more freckles and a hole through her septum from the coke......mmmmm...... she'd be perfect. She probably smells like peaches and Chanel no. 5.

Lohan, etc.

2010-10-22T20:39:00Z

I bet she smells like the outhouse door on a fishing boat....

We need.....

2010-10-21T19:46:00Z

We need longer breaks...I used to have time for a cup o jo, a smoke, and a nicely timed dump. Now it's a race with 2 puffs and a quick pinch and a twirl.

WTF?

2010-10-21T15:07:00Z

So correct me if I'm wrong on any of these points here:

Frank was born with a penis hole that pointed up, not out
Heidi has a crooked vagina
Frank has an enormous head
Heidi has a dead toe
Frank can only see out of one eye
Heidi has a lazy eye
Frank has a tooth in his chin

What the fuck is in the water in Indiana?

Love the show

Streaming the Show from Munich Germany

2010-10-20T20:17:00Z

Hey guys! Tried to call, but can't from here. I'm in Munich Germany right now watching the show. First time I can stream! Love you guys and the show!! Auf Wedersehen!!

The iPad Delivery video

2010-10-20T20:16:00Z

I just finished watching the 'iPad Delivery video'. There wasn't enough shaking in the part where Heidi was looking for Tom. I think there needed to be more shaking because then I would've actually puked. Not only is Heidi bad in front of the camera but also behind it!

Black people on a boat

2010-10-20T20:15:00Z

Hey guys... i'm a black woman having my 26th birthday party on a boat on Nov 6th. All of my friends and family will be there... feel free to come if its a sight u never thought you'd see

FYI... I'm a new listener...love the show...and yes, I'm VIP :)

The Boss

2010-10-20T17:48:00Z

Hey frank it's Chris from Inglewood I'm the one that suggested you put the Newtons Cradle on the mobile site and just wanted some acknowledgment so maybe you can give me a shout out on the show and a shout out for the workers at L-3 in Torrance .. My mission is to have everyone there listening to the show.. I've been spreading the word ... Viva Mexico bitches!!!

My VIP Membership

2010-10-20T00:05:00Z

I spent my weed money on the VIP membership. Frank ARMY!!!!
Love you guys. I will support you as much as I can so your show can thrive.

crossing my legs

2010-10-19T21:23:00Z

Hey Heidi,
I was just listening to yesterdays show where you talked about your girl bits falling asleep if you cross your legs too long. That happens to me, too!!!! I thought I was the only one! that's why I love you guys, your not afraid to talk about your tingling girl bits. I can't shake my vagina awake like you can though haha. I'm vewy compac.

Xo,
Ashley

African Relief Fund

2010-10-19T21:10:00Z

Are there any scholarships available for African Americans who can't afford to pay for your authentic comedic offerings? Can you start an African Relief Fund?

I have to pay for hair extensions, the lap band and a 40 oz! Your show didn't make the cut, so..This is Ole' Black Shelley signing off. I will miss you racist bastards!

Ummmhmmm!

So good to have you guys back.

2010-10-19T19:24:00Z

REALLY BACK. I’m dying at work. You can pick out the VIP’s here by seeing who’s actually enjoying themselves at work. Thanks guys.

The Funny is Back

2010-10-19T15:40:00Z

I gotta be honest, I have been holding off signing up as a VIP because the KABC show the last 6 months got progressively less funny. I would listen to the podcasts hoping for a nugget or two of hilarity. So, I joined the site as a monthly member cuz I had to see if you would get your funny back, and you definitely do! I was laughing out loud & often today listening to the 10/04/10 show. WELL ... Thank God!
Glad you guys are back to yourselves, and away from that oppressive KABC. Cheers!

Adult Radio

2010-10-18T19:59:00Z

I think that your show is so right on the money. Interesting, funny, adult and the best on the air, satellite and terrestrial. Any station that doesn't pick you up, is stupid. I am glad I get to be a grown- up and get to listen to adult radio.

LOBSTER in pants

2010-10-18T18:32:00Z

Hi Frank & Heidi,

I love you guys. I’m a VIP.

I used to catch shoplifters & the strangest thing I know of is a guy stole a live lobster and stuck it down his pants.

Sure, the claws were taped but, talk about, CROTCH LOBSTER!

True story.

The crazy UFO girl!

2010-10-15T19:18:00Z

You need to get me that girls number! She's crazy, she likes 3somes, and she's not the sharpest tool in the shed...THAT'S the girl I need over at my place! My girlfriend and I have been looking for a girl to join us. We had our first 3some on new years eve and it was an amazing experience! Now we just need to hook up with someone who knows what they're doing.

So get me that phone number and I'll buy the 1 year VIP, I'm on the monthly plan now. Hell, I'll buy HER a year on VIP :D

Be careful of what you say!

2010-10-14T19:10:00Z

Frank, You have been saying you and Heidi will do the show from the city that has the most VIP members, well be careful because here in Gilson Illinois there are about 43 people and 3 members of my house listen to your show. That's 6.9 percent of the population and if I can get 7 more that will make 23% way more than LA so get packing. We have a post office and a grain elevator, oh ya and a pop machine. Love the show.

Not a VIP yet :-(

2010-10-14T19:08:00Z

Hey guys (literally)! I just wanted to let you know that even though I’m not a VIP yet, I haven’t abandoned the show. As soon as I get through this foreclosure and bankruptcy thing, I’m purchasing my yearly membership!!! Can’t wait to see you guys on web cam.

I'll keep paying to listen Frank!

2010-10-13T23:38:00Z

I'm an annual VIP and I'd pay more than $50 for the year to listen to you guys, you make my day so much better and cant go a day without listening...tell that cheap SOB to go collect cans and cash them in you can get $5 a month to get a VIP .. dumb shit!

Love ya guys!!

Skipping Class for the Show

2010-10-13T23:13:00Z

Hi Heidi,
I joined the live stream around 10:20. I attend school so in order to view live I have to skip class. Your eyebrows look nice. Good job. It evens out your face.
Have a great day!

About heidi's house song

2010-10-13T23:05:00Z

That song is so depressing that when I was in Iraq I imagined if I got shot everything would slow down and that song would play! How the he'll is that a house selling song! Love the show

LOVES

2010-10-12T20:50:00Z

The mobile site is freaking amazing!!! I can listen in my car with my
ipod hooked into the auxiliary and who fucking needs radio bitches?!?!?!

Love you guys!

Super Glue Eye drops

2010-10-12T19:16:00Z

Frank,

I totally did this…

I keep Visine in my truck in case I get pulled over while rallying for the Frank Army. Well I also have super glue. One night I didn’t bother looking at the bottle and went to put in drops. Luckily, well sorta, I happened to blink and ended up gluing my eye lid to my eye brow…

Not cool

Mobile Site Visitor - I love the mobile site

2010-10-11T19:22:00Z

The new mobile website is awesome! Thanks for doing all you can to reach every last one of your fans. No more skipping or reloading every time I receive a call, email, or text.

VIP from day one til your very last!

Love you guys!

Show 10/8

2010-10-08T23:57:00Z

Freaking awesome! Your show is blocked by our company firewall so I am forced to listen via podcast. So today I am taking the day off and watching your show live. You guys are the future of radio!!!! Frank you are so right. Radio executives don't have a clue about what people want. VIP member for life.

Mobile App Just In Time

2010-10-08T23:34:00Z

Frank,
The mobile app came out just in the nick of time. My company blocked your site on my work computer, probably because I was causing our server to run slow because I was watching the show. But now with the app for my phone there is no stopping me. Thank you to everyone who got it up and running today.

Pizza

2010-10-08T23:20:00Z

Hey Frank,

I know its a little off topic but Heidi's hard pizza comment reminded me of a funny story.

A while back me and a bunch of friends were making some oven pizza's, when we took the pizza out after the correct time and were trying to cut slices we realized that it was way too hard. Turns out we had left the cardboard on the bottom of the pizza and it had baked into the crust.

Love the show!

Grandfather Roomate

2010-10-05T20:55:00Z

Heidi and Frank,

I lived with my 80 year old grandfather when I was in college. Needless to say, walking into the open-door bathroom with no lights on at 3am to find a my drunk, full naked 80 year old grandfather taking a dump and drunk-talking to himself was a bit much.

Nate in LB

Request for a Sick Fan

2010-10-05T19:55:00Z

Hi Heidi and Frank,

I'm stuck at home with my three year old son Wesley who's a huge Heidi fan. I tried watching Frank's camera and then Smeez's but he started smacking the computer until I put Heidi back on. He's got a fever and a really bad cough so I'm home from work taking care of him.

Every time you guys come back from break, he runs up to my the computer and says "Hi Heidi". I was hoping maybe you could ask Heidi to wave to the camera and say "Hi Wesley, feel better". He'd absolutely love it.

Thanks, Love the show -the issues make it all the more HF Show!
PS - SCOTCH LOBSTER!!!

Beta Site Feedback

2010-10-05T19:54:00Z

The break music is great while looking at Heidi's camera is so weird I feel like I am looking at her through the window next door right before she is about to undress or something.

Doing Things for Girlfriends

2010-10-04T19:26:00Z

Frank, let smeez know that he isn’t the only one that got dragged to do something for a girlfriend. My ex invited me to go to Seattle with her parents to go to her cousin’s bat mitzvah. I had to go up with them for a weekend stay in the same room as them and sleep on the couch in the room. Go figure they were too cheap to pay for another room. Mind you I’m not Jewish and this was my first time being at temple and wearing a Yakama. I did get shit faced after. Who would have thought they would have had an open bar.

Love you guys

Today's Show

2010-10-02T00:53:00Z

Just wanted to tell you I am so happy for you guys. The show sounded fantastic (what little i could hear...full house today). sorry i called in whispering...at the very moment frank picked up my call a client came into my office. hahhahahahahaah

love you both very much...Much success is coming your way!!!!
dena <click><dial tone>

Just joined... Rock on Brother

2010-09-30T20:14:00Z

Frank,

Thank you for working so hard to keep the show going. I just watched your 'message to the fans' on your new website and yes, I'm joining the VIP. I also promise to tell anyone who will listen about you guys.

When I moved to LA I was a wreck, doing everything I could to keep myself emotionally stable enough to continue pursuing my own career. But for a while it was fucking bleek... Your show was a huge reason why I feel I made it through those dark times. Not because you guys were feeding me information on how to live life or telling me what happened this week in the Whitehouse. But because on those truly dark days I had someone who I've never met make me laugh so hard my coworkers must have thought I was smoking the finest fatty blunts minutes before walking in the door. Sometimes all you need is a familiar voice and a good laugh.

Long story short... Things got better and now I can say I am the proud recipient of an Emmy.

Keep em coming guys... "The Frank Army" and the "Gigidy Gigidy" must live on.

Frank the Feral Kid

2010-09-29T20:11:00Z

Frank, I’m catching up on the after hours shows today and heard the segment on what you looked like in high school. A Photoshop seemed appropriate.

I’ve been a daily listener since the first day you went on in the phoenix market.

Can't wait till the 4th.

You are no longer on KABC

2010-09-28T17:45:00Z

Well, Frank, the management of KABC-AM radio made a terrible decision regarding you, Frosty, and Heidi. They never should have hired such untalented, rude, crude, uninformed dolts to broadcast on the station. Obviously, they completely overlooked the fact that your target audience, 6 to 9 year old boys, is in school most of the year, and cannot listen. But, do not fear: Many former and new listeners will tune in to Larry Elder, whose background exceeds the total of the three of you.

It shows that background, research, and preparation, along with a great sense of humor and wit, will win out every time. Surely, you must have some talents that can earn you a living in some field. Perhaps Mr. Obama will decide to bail you out. Good luck in your new endeavors, and may you find suitable work outside the broadcast field.

A farewell poem from Big Game James

2010-09-24T18:14:00Z

Frosty, Heidi, and Frank you guys will be missed
Because your leaving everyone will be pissed.

The shows were awesome and always a hit
Frank that song you sang today was a heaping pile of

You guys played shows that we could not ignore
Heidi will never admit it but she's a great big whore

Who's going to hell, hopefully not me with some luck
Your music Frosty; know one really gives a

Frank the stoner and Schmeez the runt, and Heidi Hamilton's sweet, sweet
Debra the Milf and Frosty the queer I'm really sad the show is creeping near.

Frosty on the keyboard you really are a genius
All I have to say is penis penis penis

For this poems ending my name changes to Nick, cause I wanted to tell KABC
that they can suck my

I love you guys, Big Game James

Utter Contempt For We The Unwashed Masses

2010-09-23T23:22:00Z

Tell the big girls blouse that he is missing the point. Yes, this is a kick off party for Heidi and Frank, but it is a retirement party for Frosty. Whether or not he moves, or finally finishes his cd, or even keeps up with his long winded blogs, we won't hear his voice any more, or be able to see him person again. He is using a flimsy excuse to show us the audience what we've always suspected. He has nothing but utter contempt for we the unwashed masses. Even though it was us that made him famous. If he's too good to show up for us good riddence!

KABC is not cake.

2010-09-22T23:22:00Z

KABC is not cake. It's a great big barrel of Right Wing bile that hates President Obama. They were stupid for trying to use you guys to sweeten it. Not your fault. I'm afraid Chin Boy Hannity's announcement is that he's moving into your slot, and KABC's bringing back Larry Elder. Leave with your heads held high, knowing that you've saved your wretched souls. Jack Silver sold his to Satan.

Some people shouldn't do certain things

2010-09-22T23:22:00Z

Frank, some people shouldn't do certain things. By "some people", I mean Frosty.. and by "certain things", I mean act. I just watched his resignation video. I really do love Frosty, but I think he should stick with radio. Just saying.

Death penalty...for people who talk through their yawns

2010-09-21T23:22:00Z

Death penalty...for people who talk through their yawns. There's no way I'm going to understand what you're saying and you're just going to have to repeat it, so why not just wait? and chances are, if you can't stop talking for 5 seconds to complete a yawn, I'm probably tired of listening to you anyway...

I'd also like to remind you of two things you used to find worthy of the death penalty: people who say PUNKINS and SAMICHES.

love you guys! fuck topic A, B and C. just a few more days...

Death Penalty for KABC executives

2010-09-21T23:22:00Z

Death Penalty for KABC executives who...decided not to renew your contract...oh and add your last station execs too!

Worst punishment ever from Mexican parents

2010-09-20T23:22:00Z

I used to be a pain in the ass when I was a toddler..when I was 6 years old I got suspended from elementary school for pushing my best friend, next day the girl pushed me back..so we fought again and got all dirty fighting in the field so we got suspended again and our moms talked to each so they arranged a play time.. but they made us believe we were sleeping over the others house... at the end they took us to an orphanage and left us there for 30 minutes.. We were crying like crazies.. then they came back for us..just to let us know that we have to be good or they will leave us there..

BITCHES!

Not everyone who listens to talk-radio is an Obama hater!

2010-09-17T23:22:00Z

Hey guys,

I can't believe that you are leaving! Is there someone at KABC who I can complain to about this?

Don't they know that the only other program to listen to from 9-noon is Rush Limbaugh? I think they made a serious mistake in letting you go -- what are normal people supposed to listen to? I would think they know that there are many liberals (or whatever you call people who like and think the stuff you talk about is interesting) who listen to talk radio, why turn those people away?

Before you guys came on the air, I was literally dying for an AM program that I could listen to while driving from court to the office. There is nothing on from 9-noon which a non right-winger can listen to! There are so many people out there who crave for radio personalities that talk about something other than "eff Obama" all damn day. Why would KABC turn those people away? Plus, doesn't it generally take at least 2 years to get ratings up? It's almost ridiculous, but I'm kinda devastated by you guys leaving. Thanks!

your biggest fans

2010-09-14T23:22:00Z

Let me take this time to let you know a little more about one of your biggest fans, my son Nick. Nick is a young adult with Down's syndrome. He loves your show and varied topics and banter. While I remember listening to you a few years back, he found you quite by accident while he was tuning in hoping to hear the Dodger game, (can't go a day without his team). He's currently not in a community program, so he hangs out a little too much with his mom and listens to a lot of radio. He enjoys your show because, while he may have been born with a learning disability and some physical limitations, he is very much a 25 year old guy. The way you guys talk "frank" (no pun intended) about all subjects suits his great personality. His speech articulation is poor, so unless you hang out with him awhile, you don't always understand what he's saying. However, there is not a joke going that he doesn't 'get'. Most people talk to him kind of simple, assuming the least from him, but when you guys talk, he's getting it all. Thanks for cheering up his mornings.

I just wanted to send this note because at the Morongo goodbye speech, Frank mentioned that your audience represented someone from all walks of life and then continued to list those types.... except, not one mention of someone with special needs. If my Nick loves your show, I'm sure there is many more special guys/girls like him out there. Don't overlook this group of people. They can be a very loyal audience and consumer. Anyway, just wanted to let you know.

Good Luck to all three of you!

I love you guys

2010-09-14T23:19:00Z

LOVE you all (even Frosty) and will follow you wherever you go!!! Will miss Frosty. You guys keep me sane at work. Willing to pay for your entertainment so keep that in mind if you need to charge for subscriptions or whatever. I NEED you guys. Keep on being yourselves.

It makes me have faith in the world to know that you and Heidi are staying the course.

Frosty is completely CLUELESS

2010-09-14T20:19:00Z

Frosty is completely CLUELESS. His arguments are all the same ones that could be applied to a regular restaurant. Food trucks are the hottest thing in gourmet food and will continue to be a trend for years. What is wrong with him? He is completely out of touch with society as usual. Just surprised on this because it is FOOD.

the past four years

2010-09-14T19:08:00Z

Best wishes and thanks for helping me laugh through all the hard times the past four years. I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out why scotch lobster is funny.

Frank

2010-09-14T06:15:00Z

Nice one Frank. I bet that's the first time Turd Cutter was said on KABC, and I'm sure it will be the last. Good luck guys!

Catcalls

2010-09-14T03:17:00Z

Not all Catcalls are a good thing... Catcalls from a person that you think is good looking is a compliment, catcalls from the workers standing outside of home depot is not.